The last few days leading up to an epic adventure are always… weird.
I don’t really have a better word to describe them. You’ve prepped and prepared, but now you are second guessing do you have all you need? Is your body ready? Is your mind? If you forgot something will it be make or break or will it be a 5 minute quick fix down the road? Have you done enough?
You have said a bunch of good-byes, but you aren’t officially on your way. You are gone, but still kind of around.
Things are still normal, however its looming over you that soon they won’t be. Yet when you return to this version of normal that you know it will no longer be normal. So, do you enjoy it? Do you indulge in little luxuries? Do you want to return to this version of normal or will it be time to find a new normal when this journey is done?
I always just feel weird at these junctures in life where I am so clearly closing out a chapter of life and I only have a hazy idea of what the next chapter looks like.
I guess I’m nervous-ish. I think most nerves come from being told how nervous or scared people are for me. I have been told about countless people who quit, fell ill or were hurt along the way and ultimately failed. But it doesn’t really rake up any nerves in me. I think my “nerves” come from the expectation to be nervous.
I’m excited. I love adventures. Exploring is my jam. And stepping outside my comfort zone and rolling the dice on myself has become my new favorite past time.
I’m ready to go. I’m ready to sleep in my tent night after night. I’m ready to carry a weeks worth of food with me and filter my water. I’m ready to walk mile after mile through a green tunnel. I’m ready to curse at the sky as rain falls down. I’m ready to stink of sweat and bug spray. I’m ready to meet fellow hikers and hear their tales. I’m ready to connect with myself and get to know Mother Nature a little better.
For now. I sit in weird. This in between. This page turn on life.